Journey To The Heart

The Verrazano Narrows Bridge.

How to get ready?
What is needed? What
can be left in the closet?

I would like to leave the scars at home. The tough skin designed to protect from further damage can get very heavy. Not possible. The scars travel with me. I can leave false friendships. That will certainly lighten the load. I have to take love but that won’t be easy to carry. It’s so very fragile, so prone to fading and fraying. I must be cautious. Luckily, memories are stowed in the mind and, though weighty to someone like me who has lived decades, they travel compactly. I will take the self-confident look, the friendly smile, the understanding that comes from long life. Although anxiety and sadness and fear are coming, I am packing them in travel size bottles that meet Transportation Security Administration requirements.

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Shannon’s Creative Photo Challenge: Landscapes in Portrait Mode

Hall’s Pond, Long Island, NY

Share Your World

Long Island, New York

My favorite thing to photograph is nature especially sunrises, sunsets and cloud formations. I find them to be some of the best examples of everyday beauty.

You ask: Did I like swinging? Yes, yes, yes. I spend most of my elementary school afternoon at the playground next to the school.  I became an ace at jumping off the swing just at the right moment to land in a pile of autumn leaves.

There have been many surprises about blogging for me but, the biggest is the large, very active community of bloggers I have met.  It is so unlike the isolated atmosphere of writing for print.

And, finally, my 5 favorite desserts are:
1. Apple Pie
2. Brownie’s
3. Vanilla Ice Cream
4. Coffee Gelato
5.Carrot Cake

Call It Courage

December Sunrise.

When I was nineteen, I had a boyfriend my mother disliked.  We fought constantly about him.  She made it clear that he was not welcome in our home after he took issue with her about something and, honestly, I can’t remember what it was–something inconsequential. I was embarassed and chose to blame her for rude behavior forgetting that he was just as rude if not more so. No matter how I tried to convince her to accept him, she just would not.  I decided I could no longer live in the atmosphere my mother created. She was smothering me.

So without much money and only a suitcase of clothes, I left home.  I went to the only place I knew of–a hotel near the Staten Island Ferry.  It was a horrible place that usually charged by the hour and the man at the reception desk told me I didn’t belong there.  But, I didn’t know where else to go. The next day I found a house with a room for rent.  I took it.  I found a job and eventually got my own apartment.

That first step out on my own was so difficult and I missed my family terribly.  I know now that I left for the wrong reason and without either the mental or monetary preparation that would have made my first move toward independence a much more positive experience.

Yes, it took courage to leave home and a good deal of stubborness. And, after a while, I realized that my “boyfriend” never provided any emotional support during those first very tough months. I wanted to see him as accepting and supportive but he was extremely judgemental and rigid.  In the end, I was able to repair my relationship with my mother. It was my “boyfriend” who I no longer wanted to be part of my life.