Hope is a useful attitude. For me, the idea that something may be obtainable has carried me through some tough times. When my sister was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, hope induced me to research treatments and pharmaceutical trials. After all, she was young and she possessed the strength to pursue harsh medical protocols. Of course, the less obtainable something becomes, the less hope we feel. Once it became apparent that the treatments didn’t work and that there wasn’t that much out there to do anything but prolong her life a month or two more, it was time to reassess the situation. Hope was no longer a motivation. The main concern became alleviating her pain.
Just this year, I realized that decades ago I gave up hope of ever being loved again. Yes, all these years I have been in a relationship. We have worked together, raised children together, traveled together and prepared for old age together. Yet, the love aspect of the relationship withered a while ago leaving us in a business partner/ friend position. That’s fine. Many, many couples experience this role progression and make it work. We are too.
Still, I think of resurrecting that hope–of somehow, in some way feeling in love with someone again.